Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Sometimes I think I'm naive... like super trusting. I believe in almost everything other people says without thinking. I believe that people won't lie to me because I don't lie to them. (Not that I don't tell lies, but I try not to...) And then, I get cheated again and again. Not like it's life and death issues but I hate to be lied to, you know? Then after a while, I wonder if stop trusting what other people says. I think I need to use my brain more... :X
On another note (not much lighter though), I feel a little lost. I feel like I got no motivation to continue studying or do whatever I'm supposed to do... I just feel... SIAN... I don't want to wake up in the morning, I don't want to study, I think I give up already. As many of you know, I'll be graduating in August, but till now, I have no idea what I want to do after I finish my studies. I want to continue with a degree course but I have no money. And nope, my parents told me they won't be paying for my UNI school fees anymore. Which means, I have to earn my own money and then use that to pay my school fees. I've tried working and studying at the same time, and it sucks! I go to work in the morning, then to school, when I reach home, I feel like dying... There is no time for me rest. I still have revision to do!! On top of that, assignments and group projects to complete. *Sigh* Even talking about it makes me tired.
Okay, back to the same question. What should I do after my diploma? I know it sounds like of dumb, but I don't want to go into the tourism industry. I took this diploma coz my mom wanted me to, so whatever makes her happy... But I still have to pay her back the money for the school fees. I want to do something with music and photography and dogs... but that sounds like just hobbies, not stable jobs, "Iron Rice Bowl" (as what the chinese say...) I once thought maybe I can be an interior designer, but I can't draw. God didn't give me that talent... but frankly, I don't know what kind of talent He gave me... maybe I don't have talents. *Sigh* Sometimes, I think I'm quite useless...
This post is a little depressing, which is uncommon for me. I usually try to look on the bright side but sometimes, I can't find the bright and shiny side. God, please help me to have hope... and strength to continue to believe that you put me on earth for a reason.
On another note (not much lighter though), I feel a little lost. I feel like I got no motivation to continue studying or do whatever I'm supposed to do... I just feel... SIAN... I don't want to wake up in the morning, I don't want to study, I think I give up already. As many of you know, I'll be graduating in August, but till now, I have no idea what I want to do after I finish my studies. I want to continue with a degree course but I have no money. And nope, my parents told me they won't be paying for my UNI school fees anymore. Which means, I have to earn my own money and then use that to pay my school fees. I've tried working and studying at the same time, and it sucks! I go to work in the morning, then to school, when I reach home, I feel like dying... There is no time for me rest. I still have revision to do!! On top of that, assignments and group projects to complete. *Sigh* Even talking about it makes me tired.
Okay, back to the same question. What should I do after my diploma? I know it sounds like of dumb, but I don't want to go into the tourism industry. I took this diploma coz my mom wanted me to, so whatever makes her happy... But I still have to pay her back the money for the school fees. I want to do something with music and photography and dogs... but that sounds like just hobbies, not stable jobs, "Iron Rice Bowl" (as what the chinese say...) I once thought maybe I can be an interior designer, but I can't draw. God didn't give me that talent... but frankly, I don't know what kind of talent He gave me... maybe I don't have talents. *Sigh* Sometimes, I think I'm quite useless...
This post is a little depressing, which is uncommon for me. I usually try to look on the bright side but sometimes, I can't find the bright and shiny side. God, please help me to have hope... and strength to continue to believe that you put me on earth for a reason.
I believe in happy endings...9:16 PM.
